As I thought about my own struggles, my dear bishop happened to send out an email that contained a very poignant and appropriate quote. I’ve been meaning to share it since I got it but I haven’t had a chance to write till now. So i proceed now with what I’ll call two-way advice. So named for the fact that though they are words of wisdom shared with you, they are mostly for me. Things I need to hear to help me not feel so lame and disjointed about my life.
"The longer I live, the more deeply I am convinced that that which makes the difference between one man and another-between the weak and the powerful, the great and the insignificant, is spiritual energy-invisible determination-a purpose once formed and then only death or victory. This quality will do anything that is to be done in the world; and no talents, no circumstances, no opportunities will make one a man or woman without it."
"The longer I live, the more deeply I am convinced that that which makes the difference between one man and another-between the weak and the powerful, the great and the insignificant, is spiritual energy-invisible determination-a purpose once formed and then only death or victory. This quality will do anything that is to be done in the world; and no talents, no circumstances, no opportunities will make one a man or woman without it."
He didn’t mention who said it, but it has found it’s way into my small, wondering mind and taken root. I believe in it wholeheartedly. This spiritual energy is so much a part of each of us and yet the exercise of said energy is often neglected for... what...? A certain major in school? A dream we feel can never be accomplished? A fear of an unknown or once known modified portion of our lives that we choose to overlook as significant and important? A passion we have that doesn’t necessarily invite that power source providing said spiritual energy...our Savior?
Can you imagine a life so filled with “stuff” that there is no room for light? Light penetrates any darkness. In even the darkest, deepest places you could go, if you aloud a pin hole of light to enter in, illumination, even in the smallest amount, WILL occur. Spiritual energy, then, must be driven by light. For all things good and spiritual come from God and our savior, Jesus Christ who is in reality the light of the world. So all our “stuff” piles up and starts blocking out the light. Does that mean it’s dark? Or does it simply mean we need to widen the pin hole so we can feel illuminated as intended from the beginning? Perhaps we should allow ourselves to be blinded by light rather than infiltrated by the lies of the world and it’s cunning leader, Satan. Perhaps if we cared less about what we’re not doing and more about what we are doing we could regain that confidence, recharging the source of our light and simply let it shine. It’s like a heat wave. I know you’ve felt it. Those times when the spirit takes you over and you wonder how the person sitting next to you isn’t feeling the heat your sudden inward shine is producing. I’m not book smart. I don’t know a lot about life or about the world. I’m not a historian or a mathematician. I will never discover a medicine that will cure an incredulous disease or understand the laws of physics. But i do know that I have a beating heart that tells me I am someone. And that someone is enough to deserve a life of love and help from my Father in Heaven. It’s at my ‘abandon ship’ moments that I realize how insufferable I can be. If only I could remember that most of the time I will be lacking, yet God will forever allow me moments to shine.